Don't let go

Hold me tightly and don’t let go

I sit perched over this precipice of uncertainty

Afraid of falling

Not because it will hurt, or I will die

But simply because I do not know

Not knowing is the worst

So hold me tightly and don’t let go

Some days I feel safe

Your hands and his don’t waver

They firmly hold me in place above certain uncertainty

On those days, the precipice seems far away

Sometimes, you hold me too tightly

Your frantic embrace causes me to tilt violently to one side

On those days I am afraid

I’m afraid that your hysterical embrace will wrench me from his hands

Or from hers

But eventually, equilibrium is reached and I stay balanced

Other days you two fight so much

I wonder why you still hold me at all

The day I hate the most comes with the least warning

It starts with a look

I can see in the way you look at me you don’t like me anymore

I wish I could speak

So I could remind you why you hold on to me

Why you shouldn’t let me fall into the unknown

But I remain silent and pray for you to remember

Please remember

But you keep looking at me like that

Your eyes show sadness, anger and disappointment with me

I’m not perfect, I want to say

I have done all that I can

Please don’t let me go

But silence is all that escapes my lips

You’ve decided now

Immense sadness and apprehension falls over me

I know what you’re going to do

Slowly, but deliberately, you let me go

With only one set of hands holding me now, I will fall soon

I hope that you remember why you held me in the first place

Come back! I want to scream

But again...only silence

His hands slowly let me go as well

And down I go

As I fall, I think about the past

The feeling I got the first time you two held me

I will miss that

Darkness creeps up around me quickly as I fall

Bracing myself for the end

Knowing it won’t come

Two other people will catch me

And hold me up once again

I will forget your names

I will forget the times we had, both good and bad

They will no longer even be a memory

Until then, I continue my descent

Deeper and deeper into the unknown

I am love

And I am afraid

[August 11th 2009]